After attending a 5-day personal development training, I realised that I discovered a lot of things about myself. During those 5 days I did not share much with the speaker because my thoughts are blurry and I felt something was clouding my mind. Last night as I was driving back there are so many realisation of what I actually am and all those thoughts got lost in the process of being blurry. I had a moment of clarity of what and how I am as a person after all these years.
On a particular exercise where I am supposed to give good and bad feedback to the people in the group, I received 4 good feedback [kind,softhearted,helpful,brave]. It made me realised that I am all those but brave. Being brave needs courage and confidence which i lacked. Hence, starting today I want to be brave and have courage to do the things I want to do. Instead of sitting back and just watch the world goes by and be a bystander. I am tired of watching others becoming successful and having the good things in life while I just sit at the sidelines asking when I am going to be like that while all I have done is nothing.
choose black for yourself and others. so it's a win-win situation. =]
During the red/black exercise, I realised that I would give my opinion and if my opinion doesn’t get accepted I would just sit back and listen to others. In reality i am a follower. I would constantly weigh my choices be it the good and bad so that I won’t chose the worser option which make me realise that I want to be in the winning team and the better option one. I am afraid to make a bad option for myself because I want to present myself in a better place than what I really am.
we always have a choice in life.
it is the action you took after that makes it good or bad.
I have come to understand that in our lives we always have a choice; be it good or bad, pros or cons. If we made a choice and the outcome isn’t what I wanted, I should be responsible for the result because it was my choice in the first place. I should stop putting the blame on myself or others because I have to own up to the mistakes and learn from it. Learning from mistakes is a tough one because I tend to talk myself out of it so that I can feel good and believe that I am not wrong or did any wrong. It is this belief of wanting to look good and scared of being the wrong one cloud my thoughts and my conscience.
IF TODAY WAS THE LAST DAY WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
This was got me thinking about my relationship with my mum. After all these years I had always wanted a relationship that isn’t like a traditional mother and daughter but a mother and daughter friendship where i can joke around with and tell her everything about each aspect of my life. I realised i cannot be open around her because she doesn’t understands why I do things a certain way and she would usually disapprove of my actions. This made me feel like in her eyes I am not doing things her way, I am not right. Hence, I believed that it would be best for me to just keep it to myself and instead of talking to her. I would ended up avoiding talking to her except to exchange pleasantries and the usual home conversation but not talking about my life with her. That Saturday night I actually sat down and told my mum why am I acting and behaving that way and hopefully try to get her to understand me. I realised that my mum is actually a loving person albeit sometimes nagging and annoying. But she really tries to give me everything she can provide selflessly.
what do YOU want?!
- to have a good relationship with my mum
- to have a good friendship with wit nie
- to be happy
- to be positive
- to stop beating myself up
- to be more confident
- to have self-love [self-respect, self-trust]
- to open an ice cream shop one day